Shadows and Whispers The Aftermath
by Coz
Summary: [Complete] How will Sam cope with what happened to her? You will need to have read Shadows and Whispers to understand this!


After finishing Shadows and Whispers I was practically inundated with requests to do an epilogue…okay, okay there was a polite suggestion from mugseymalone and an comment from Mara Jade, Jedi that Sam got over her fears etc. a bit too quickly.  After reading it through I was inclined to agree so thanks to both of you for the suggestion. Also Dietcokechic (more Barista please, I need more like I need coffee!!!) wanted some more information about the creature so there's a couple of paragraphs in here for you!!  

Anyway, I eventually found some time to write this, it ended up longer than I had planned, it's like two thirds the length of the original story but there you go, I was having too much fun writing straight angst to stop!!

Naliza, thanks for doing that beta thing that you do so well, you don't know how much I appreciate it!!

**And as a final note I want to say the biggest thank you to everyone who reviewed the both the original story and Falling Down, I just broke the half century for reviews for both the stories, you've all made a little fan-fic writer very, very, very happy and with the amount of work I've got to do at the moment that's no mean feat!!!******

*~*~*

Sam Carter woke suddenly, sitting up straight in bed.  In a moment of panic she reached for the bedside table, searching for the drawer.  She pulled it open and her hands scrabbled around for the handgun, which she used to keep there.  Consumed by terror she scanned the room, looking for the threat that she had seen so clearly just a few moments before.  As the realisation that she had been dreaming dawned on her, she sighed deeply and looked down in disgust.

She was panting, her skin covered in a slight film of sweat.  She looked over at the clock next to the bed.  The digital readout told her it was 3:20am, which meant she had been asleep for just over an hour.

Realising that she would not go back to sleep after the nightmare she just had, she reached out and clumsily turned on the light, banging the cast on her right arm against the wall.  She looked round the bedroom and sighed. Most nights since her discharge from the infirmary, nearly a month before, she had woken up in a panic after a nightmare.

A number of people on base had commented that she was looking tired.  Colonel O'Neill and Dr Fraiser were the most insistent.  At first she could blame it on her still healing body, the broken ribs or the surgery scar aching keeping her awake but as they had healed quickly, she could no longer use them to cover for the terror inducing nightmares.  

Janet had not limited her concern to Sam's tired expression.  She was forcing her on the infirmary scales as often as she could, lecturing Sam on regaining the weight she had lost after the attack before she would be allowed to go off world.  

Sam's appetite had fallen through the floor.  She was never much of a big eater before but since the attack she was finding it very difficult to stomach a lot of food.  For the sake of appearances she often went to eat with SG-1 in the commissary but never ate much, spending most of the time shuffling the food around the plate.  Colonel O'Neill had recovered from the fractured collar bone he received during his fight with the alien therefore the rest of the team was doing off-world missions again, giving her more time alone on base.

She spent her days holed up in her lab, leaving only when necessary.  Her time was spent analysing some of he technological objects brought back by the SG teams.  Before the attack she had often expressed a silent wish to have more time to study some of the objects brought back.  Now she could run as many tests with her 'doohickies' as she liked without being told to hand it over to someone else but the work was leaving her cold and uninterested.  She was simply going through the motions.

She sighed deeply.  Going through the motions, it seemed to sum up her life at the moment.  She had lost the drive, which used to keep her up all night working on some project or another.  Now it was the nightmares that were causing her sleeping patterns to be destroyed.

As she got out of bed and walked into the kitchen she thought of the nightmare she just had.  There were a number of different dreams that had been haunting her since her return home.  Some allowed her to return to sleep, often for the remainder of the night.  Others, like the one she just had, left her groping for the gun she had long since removed from the bedroom, ever since she had pointed it at her father as he came to check on his daughter who was screaming in terror in her sleep.

Reliving the attack she had experienced here, in her own home, was the worst of all the nightmares.  Every detail about it seemed so real.  The fear and the pain were amplified and eventually reality became distorted.  Most of the dreams had Sam fighting a losing battle.  She did not reach the gun before the attack became too ferocious and the creature beat her into unconsciousness and then suddenly she would wake up in terror. 

The nightmares had increased in severity and frequency since Jacob had left, returning to whatever planet the Tok'ra were calling home.  She missed him.  She had got used to having him there to hold her when she was woken by a nightmare.  It reminded her of her childhood, before she knew what a Stargate was.  Sometimes it even reminded her of the time before her mother died when her father would hold her when the young Samantha was awoken by childhood nightmares.  Even then Jacob had to go away leaving Sam without a father being close enough to comfort her.

When she was discharged from the infirmary, and when her father left to go back to the Tok'ra, she assured him that she was going to be fine.  She had made several promises that she would not be kept out of her house by the memory of a dead alien but since then she has become fully aware that she was anything but fine and was finding it more and more difficult to spend time at home.  

Sam had begun debating whether to sell the house and moving somewhere new.  The memories associated with this house were painful despite the fact that she liked her place and had spent whatever little free time she had making it as homely as she could.  She thought it might be time to move on.

The creature, which had been named the Roshani, was still at Area 51 being studied.  They were still trying to understand how it managed to change shape but those working on it were apparently excited about the possible military applications if they manage to harness the morphing power.  The scientists had approached Sam and the rest of SG-1 asking endless questions about the creature.  As she had been fighting for her life on both the occasions that she had met it she was not able to tell them much.

The current theory was that it was a highly advanced and evolved chameleon but when it morphed it changed itself right down to the cellular level.  Something the scientists were finding hard to comprehend.  When she had heard that they were talking about going back to P4Y 379 to try and capture one of the creatures alive she had been shocked and vehemently argued with General Hammond, along with the rest of SG-1, not to let them.  Thankfully he had agreed with SG-1 and P4Y 379 had remained locked out of the dialling programme.

She switched on the coffee machine, reaching for the coffee from the cupboard.  Grabbing the packet she realised how much she had consumed throughout the week.  She was drinking so much; she was most properly consuming more than Daniel at that stage and that was no small feat.   Were it not for the fact that it was becoming such a necessity she would most probably have laughed it off as trying to replace him as the SGC resident coffee addict.

Pouring a cup as soon as it had brewed she shuffled to the sofa and switching the television on flickering through the channels until she found one that would mildly amuse her, for a while at least.  

She had spent many hours in front of the television recently and for the first time in her life she was grateful for cable, there was not a lot of good programming at half past three in the morning.  Up till her attack she had no time to appreciate the amount of channels available to her.  She was not sure why she had bothered keeping up with the subscription in the first place when she used to spend so little time at home before the incident.

She stared at the screen for a few hours, not seeing the pictures or listening to the sound.  As soon as she felt it was safe to head to the base without being lectured about her sleeping patterns by Janet, Colonel O'Neill or Daniel, she dressed as quickly as she could while struggling at the same time with the large cast on her arm.

She called a taxi to the base, hating the loss of independence she had suffered due to being unable to drive because of the cumbersome cast.  Draining her fourth cup of coffee of the morning she walked out to the waiting cab, greeting the driver as she climbed inside.

"Hi Ray."

"Morning Sam," the driver replied.  He had driven Sam up to the mountain on a number of occasions during the two weeks she had been using cabs to get to work.

Sam forced herself to make small talk with the driver during the drive.  The taxi dropped her off outside the gate and she walked the rest of the way to the elevators, which would take her into the depths of Cheyenne Mountain.

*~*

Sam spent the morning locked up in her lab.  She only broke for lunch when Janet came and practically dragged her to the commissary to get something to eat.  Sam forced half of the plate of food in front of her down her throat.  She hardly listened to Janet as she chatted away about events in the infirmary and how Cassandra was doing at school.  She nodded at what she thought was opportune moments and answered Janet's questions as quickly as she could.  She was pretty sure her best friend noticed her distracted nature but she did not care.

"I'd better head off, SG-1 are due back in a half-hour.  Gotta get those big needles ready for the Colonel," Janet joked.

"Right," Sam replied flatly.

Janet sighed deeply as she left the commissary after bidding Sam goodbye.  She had hoped that Sam would be sleeping and eating better by now.  The pained look on her face was obvious and the times when Sam could deny it and write it off as nothing was almost up.

One of the most concerning things to Janet was the fact that Sam refused to face up to what had happened to her.  The handful of times Sam had spoken about what had happened she had referred to it as the 'accident' or 'incident'.  It was not an accident, it had been a brutal assault.  Sam's distorted perception of the attack was only one of the things worrying Janet.

Janet was seriously concerned about Sam and she knew she was not the only one.  Over the past two weeks Colonel O'Neill, Daniel, Teal'c and General Hammond had all independently approached her with concerns over Major Carter's welfare.  She was trying to come up with a plan that would not involve shipping her off to Mackenzie, that would end up doing more her more harm than good.

Sam sat at her table for a while, staring into the distance.  After a while she stood and walked back to her lab and uninspiring projects that was awaiting her.  After about half an hour she heard the familiar rumblings of the Stargate activating.  She idly looked at the watch on her wrist and went back to her laptop without really taking note of the time. 

She knew that after being cleared by Dr Fraiser, SG-1 would come to her lab to see her.  They had been off world for the past two days with her temporary replacement, Captain Richards.  She was fully expecting O'Neill to be grousing about him, apparently he used more techno-babble than she did and did not get the Colonel's jokes.

Her prediction was right, after a couple of minutes there were a knock at the door of the lab.

"Come in," she said, tiredly.

The door opened, revealing Colonel O'Neill, Daniel and Teal'c.  O'Neill smiled widely.

"Hey Carter, you miss us?"

"Of course," she answered with as muster as she could manage, a forced smile on her face.

"So, whatcha been up to?" O'Neill asked playfully.

"The same, how did the mission go Sir?"

"Trees and moss."

Carter managed a slight true smile at his description, a common term used by him for the many planets they have visited which offered nothing more than flora and fauna.

After a short discussion Daniel and Teal'c excused themselves.  Teal'c needed to Kelno'reem and Daniel made an excuse about some alien translation which needed his attention leaving Sam and Jack alone in her lab.

"Carter, are you alright?" Jack asked, seriously.

"Yes Sir."

"Carter," he began in an exasperated tone, he knew Sam well enough to know when she was lying.

Sam looked at O'Neill, knowing that she could not hide it much longer.

"You look like you've had no sleep.  You barely listened to what we had to say before.  Instead of gaining weight back you look like you're losing more.  You're surviving on what, coffee and eating when you have to.  I'm worried about you Sam, we all are."

"Yeah?  What business is my weight of yours?  How much I sleep.  You come in here and you try to tell me how to live my life, I'm doing just fine thank you...Sir!" Sam spat at him.

Jack blinked and exhaled.  He had expected her to be defensive but he did not count on her displaying this much anger.

"Why is it my business?  Maybe because I care about you, as a team-mate and as a friend.  We've all been through so much together and I hate to see you shutting everyone out like this," Jack said softly.

"You don't know what it's been like for me, Sir.  You don't understand," Sam said, still in a harsh tone.

"Why don't you try me?"

"You just wouldn't understand okay, now if you don't mind I've got work to do."

Jack ran his hand through his hair and left the lab.  Her tone bordered on insubordination but he let it go.  He could not find it in his heart to admonish her for her tone of voice.  She was right, he did not know what she was going through but he was willing to help her through it, if only she would let him.

*~*

Sam opened the front door of her house, scanning for threats as she entered.  It had become a habit for her to search the house before she felt relaxed, or as relaxed as she could be these days.

She switched the coffee machine on again.  Once it had brewed she took a mug and sat in front of her computer for a few hours until the staring at the screen made her eyes blur and her head ached.  She moved through to the lounge and sat heavily on the couch.  She cradled her casted right arm with her left as she sunk into the cushions.  She exhaled deeply as she shut her eyes.

Her eyes shot open almost two hours later, she was breathing heavily and her pulse was racing.  Her eyes unconsciously scanned the room for a threat.  She was exhausted and frightened.  She drew her knees up to her chest as tears leaked out of her eyes.  Once the floodgates opened she could not close them, sobs racked her body as she released some of the fear and hurt that had been building up.

Once the tears had subsided she reached for the phone.  Her finger poised over the speed dial button for Colonel O'Neill's home.  She paused and then threw the phone down as she cursed herself for being so stubborn.

She stood up and walked to the bedroom.  Her stomach clenched as she entered.  Unconsciously her thoughts went back to the attack and recalling it made her stomach flip.  She could feel the bile rising in her throat.  She ran to the bathroom before she retched.  She vomited the meagre contents of her stomach feeling a slight twinge in her ribs as she did.  She sank to the floor beside the toilet as more tears traced down her face.

Once she had reigned the tears under control she stood and vigorously brushed her teeth to remove the rancid taste in her mouth.  She grabbed her keys and left the house, not being able to face spending more time there.

She walked, not knowing or caring where her feet took her.  She was not particularly surprised when she realised that she was standing at the end of the drive of Colonel O'Neill's house.  She paused and took a deep breath before walking down the drive.

Looking at her watch and seeing it was after midnight she was surprised to see lights still on in the house.  Reaching the front door she knocked tentatively.  She fiddled with a loose thread contained in the cast as she waited for an answer, looking up slightly as the door opened.

"Carter, is everything okay?" Jack asked gently, taking notice of Sam's red rimmed eyes and general dishevelled appearance.  

Looking up at her commanding officer she immediately burst in to tears before she could form a response.  O'Neill wrapped an arm around her and led her inside the house and after closing the door took her in both of his arms and held her tightly.

After a few minutes O'Neill guided her to the couch where he held her for as long as it took for the tears to subside, gently speaking words of comfort to her.  After the sobs had become nothing more than shuddering breaths Sam looked up at Jack, embarrassment etched on her face.

"I'm sorry, Sir," Sam said wearily.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for Sam.  Except getting snot on my t-shirt," he joked.  He was rewarded with a small smile from Sam in return.

"Hey, you ready to talk about it?"

When Sam did not reply and became interested in her cast once more he spoke again.

"Whenever you're ready, okay?  You wanna stay here tonight?"

Sam nodded slightly and followed Jack as he went upstairs.  He ducked into his bedroom and emerged with a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, which he held out to Sam.  She took them gratefully and with a slight smile walked into the spare room and changed before climbing into the soft bed and quickly fell asleep.

Jack stood outside the closed door of the spare room for a few moments.  It was obvious that Sam was hurting and he was glad that she had opened up to him and felt that she could turn to him when in need of help.

There was nothing more that he could do for Sam right now, he turned and headed to his own bed.

*~*

Jack was woken by muffled sounds.  At first he did not recognise the source of the sound since he was so used to living alone.  After a few moments he realised it was Sam, in the grips of a nightmare.  He quickly got out of bed and walked to the spare room.  He knocked lightly on the door and opened it gently.  Peering round the door he saw Sam thrashing in the bed, crying out softly.

Crossing to the bed he gently called out her name.  When she did not respond he called her name slightly louder.  He sat on the edge of the bed and shook her shoulder.  At the physical contact Sam shot upright and her right arm, in-cased in plaster swung across and caught Jack on the bridge of his nose.

"Awe crap, Carter!" he said, bringing his hand up to his nose.  Seeing the blood he gathered the material of the t-shirt he was wearing and brought it up to try and stop the flow.

"Oh my God Sir, I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry." 

O'Neill could see tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"Hey Carter, it's okay.  I've had much worse.  See it's already stopped bleeding," he said pulling the t-shirt away.

"Well, almost," he added with a smile after a fresh drop of blood dripped onto the grey material.

Sam looked away from Jack and did her best to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall.  She had already let Colonel O'Neill see her cry, something which she fought so hard to avoid, she did not want to let him see her perceived weakness again.

"That must have been some nightmare, huh."

"Yes Sir," Sam agreed, still not looking at him.

"Hey Sam," he said gently.

She turned at the use of her name, a single tear leaked out of her right eye.  Jack reached out and gently wiped it away with his thumb, Sam smiled slightly at the contact.

"You ready to talk?" 

The tone he used made it clear that it was okay if she did not want to talk.

"I guess."

"You sure?"

Sam nodded.  Jack smiled as he stood.

"You go put some coffee on, I'm gonna change," he said, looking down at the blood stained t-shirt.

"Okay," Sam agreed quietly and untangling her legs from the covers made her way down-stairs.

Jack changed his t-shirt quickly and before heading down-stairs went to the bathroom to survey the damage to his nose.  It did not feel broken, he was pretty sure it was just bruised.  He had to hand it to Sam, she had a pretty good right hook and the cast probably helped some.  Looking at it, it was already quite swollen and he was sure it would be an array of colours in the morning.

Down-stairs he found Carter sitting at the table a fresh cup of coffee held tightly within both her hands.  Another steaming cup laid across the table.  He sat down across from her and gratefully took the cup.

"So that dream?"

"Yeah, I was at home and that…that thing was there.  I was trying to fight it but…"

"But you decided to fight me instead," Jack filled in with a slight smile.

"I really am very sorry, Sir."

"Hey, this isn't about me.  You having these nightmares a lot?"

"Every night," Sam said flatly.

"Ahh geesh, Why haven't you said anything before?"

"I dunno Sir.  What could anyone do?  It's my problem, I have to work through it."

"Awe come on Carter, you know by now, when one of us has a problem we all have a problem.  What you went through was horrible; you shouldn't have to deal with that on your own.  You don't have to deal with that on you own."

"I know Sir."  

Jack watched as Sam took a large mouthful of coffee, before setting the cup down and running both of her hands through her hair.  She took a deep breath before looking Jack squarely in the face.

"I'm scared Sir," her wavering voice betraying her look of confidence.

"Of what?"

"Being at home, of spending time in my own home."

She laughed slightly at her predicament; the laughter was short lived.  Jack's look of concern and pain on behalf of Sam was obvious.

"It took you a month to admit that!  Carter, I thought you were the smart one," exasperation was evident in his voice

"I thought it would get better, that I'd get used to it but instead it just got worse."

"Now we know we can do something about it."

"Like?"

"Like move house, there's no shame in that, not after what happened to you"

Sam nodded.  She had thought about moving, now it seemed like an even better idea.  Staying here with the Colonel made her realise just how afraid she had been at home and how she could not carry on living there.

They spoke until the sun rose.  Sam told Jack about her fears, her lack of appetite and problems sleeping.  Jack listened; asking questions when he felt it was necessary.  She unashamedly wiped tears from her face on a number of occasions.  Her embarrassment over crying in front of her commanding officer had gone.  She realised that he did not think any less of her because of her tears.

Once the sun had fully risen Jack made breakfast for them both.  Sam ate more than Jack had seen for a long while, though she still left food on the plate.  Jack gave Sam a clean towel and allowed her to use the bathroom before he did.  

Once in the bathroom he surveyed his nose again.  An impressive array of colours graced his face from a deep purple where he had been struck to a light yellow under his eyes.  His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was sticking up at odd angles, despite the shower he just had.

When they were both ready he drove up to the mountain.  Most of the journey was passed in silence; everything that needed to be said had been said the previous night.

Once at the base Jack escorted Sam to her lab, promising to meet her for lunch with the rest of SG-1 so that they could talk as a group.  Sam was apprehensive about talking to the team, just as she had been about telling O'Neill but they would understand and help her.

Jack found Daniel, Teal'c and Dr Fraiser in the commissary eating breakfast.  They all looked up at him as he approached.

"Jack, what the hell happened to you?"   

"Oh, ya know.  Never sneak up on a sleeping major with her arm in a cast."

"Sam did that to you?" Janet asked, shocked.

"Yeah."

"What was Sam doing sleeping in your house?"

"She popped round last night, we had a bit of chat.  I woke her from a nightmare; she hit me 'round the face with her cast.  A fun filled night for everyone," Jack commented, friendly sarcasm clearly evident in his voice.

"How's Sam now?"

"She's alright, she wants to meet up with us all for lunch."

Everyone around the table nodded their acquiescence; they had all been deeply concerned about Sam's behaviour and were glad to see that she had opened up to someone. 

"Colonel, you really should come to the infirmary.  I'll take a look at your nose."

"It's fine, just bruised," Jack pleaded.  

Janet fixed him in her gaze until he agreed, promising to pay her a visit after the morning briefing.

*~*

The lunch meeting was carried out in Sam's lab, it would afford them more privacy as no one wanted the SGC grapevine to find out about what Sam was going through.  They all listened as Sam explained her fears of being at home and the nightmares that were ruining her sleep.  

When she had finished speaking Daniel walked slowly over to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her; she rested her head against his shoulder as she relished the comfort of being close to her friend.  After breaking from Daniel's arms Janet followed suite, bringing Sam into a tight embrace.  Teal'c reached out and gently touched her upper arm after Janet had stepped back.  The concern shown by her friends brought a small tear to her eye, which she quickly blinked back, she had cried too many tears that day.

The afternoon found Sam working with a partly renewed vigour, she found herself interested in an artefact brought back from P8Y 874.  She was theorising that it was some kind of mobile computer but smaller and more powerful than anything they had on Earth.  She had not found herself interested in anything for a long time but she still could not get quite excited about her latest project as she might have done before the attack.  

She was interrupted by a knock on the door.  When it opened Sam saw Janet's petite frame standing in the doorway.

"Hey Sam."

"Hey, is everything alright?"

"I kinda came to ask you the same thing."

"Better now, I guess."

"There is still a long way to go you know Sam."

"I know."

"Sam, I want you to hear me out, don't just say no right off the bat."

"Okay," Sam agreed, knowing that Janet was going to offer some medication she did not want.

"I want you to think about taking anti-depressants."

"Janet, I'm not depressed."

"I'm not so sure Sam.  By your own admission you've got almost no appetite, you're hardly sleeping, you apathetic about what you're doing and before you had to be forced to take time off.  There's nothing wrong with taking anti-depressants Sam."

Sam thought for a moment, taking in what Janet had said.  She knew that she was experiencing some of the symptoms of depression and probably for a sufficient length of time to be classified as depressed.

"I know Janet but I'm not ready to take anti-depressants just yet.  I want to give it a few more weeks."

"Fine but if you're not feeling better in two weeks we're gonna have a serious talk about anti-depressants.  You can't keep living like this."

"I know.  That's why I've decided to sell my house and move somewhere new.  Too many bad memories."

"I think that's a good idea.  Where are you staying tonight?"

"Colonel O'Neill's already offered his spare room," Sam muttered.

Janet looked at Sam dubiously.  Since she and Colonel O'Neill had admitted their feelings for each other Janet was not so sure about them staying together.  She decided to let it go for now, they were professional enough to not allow their feelings to impact on their working relationship not to mention the military fraternisation rules.

"Look, I'm going to write you a prescription for sleeping tablets, you don't have to take them but I want them to be there if you need them.  You're not going to start feeling better if you're not sleeping."

"Fine," Sam agreed.  She had no intention to take any sleeping pills but it was a good way to get Janet off her back.

"I'll see you later Sam."

"Yeah," Sam relied with a slight smile.  

There was another reason why Sam was so unwilling to take anti-depressants.  A friend of hers had been prescribed anti-depressants as a temporary measure two years ago and was still on them because she could not stop taking them without horrible side effects.  She wanted to avoid that possibility if she could. 

*~*

Jack popped his head round Sam's office door; she looked up as he entered.

"Hey Carter."

"Colonel," Sam said with a slight smile.

"You finished?"

"Yes Sir."

"You wanna stop by your place and get some stuff?"

"If that's alright."

"Sure, how would you feel about having Daniel, Teal'c, Janet and General Hammond 'round?"

"Sounds good Sir."

"Good 'cause I already invited them."

Sam smiled and, switching off the laptop and the assorted machines she had been using followed O'Neill out of the lab, turning the light off as she left.

*~*

Sam's stomach flipped as Colonel O'Neill's truck pulled up outside her house.  The uneasy look on her face did not go unmissed by Jack.

"You want me to come in with you?"

"Yeah," Sam said quietly.

O'Neill waited quietly in the living room for Sam to get what she needed from her bedroom; he was there for her if she needed him.  He had noticed how she had scanned the house for threats before making a start on the packing she needed to do.  He looked at the plants she had dotted around the room, most of them were beginning to wilt, days of neglect were obviously affecting them.

"Obviously not feeling chatty at the moment Carter," Jack remarked, holding up a wilted leaf, as Carter came through, an overnight bag in her hand.

"Are you ever going to let me live that down Sir?"  

Her revelation that she talked to her plants had lead to a great deal of ribbing.

"Ahh, no."

Sam smiled slightly and walking to the kitchen.  She filled a glass with water and watered the plants.  She had to admit that she had neglected them over the past few weeks.  She was sure that they would recover, they were all intentionally hardy plants.  They had to be with the amount of times she had been stuck away from home and therefore unable to water them.

"I'm done here," Sam said firmly.

"You got everything you need?"

"Yes but I wasn't talking about the packing.  I'm selling this place, I can't spend any more time here."

Jack nodded and followed Sam out as she left the house.  She paused before she locked the door and took a deep breath before she turned the key.  O'Neill left her alone; it was an important moment, a moment of closure for her.

*~*

Sam put her house up for sale the next day.  The realtor seemed slightly surprised that she was putting the house on the market and that she did not care about the price she got and was highly anxious for a quick sale.

She quickly began searching for a new house.  O'Neill, Janet and Daniel took turns driving her around town looking at properties.  She was having a hard time finding a place she liked.

*~*

Jack had been driving Sam around to prospective houses all afternoon.  At that moment they were both tired and Sam was beginning to think she would never find a suitable place.  After a while O'Neill's truck pulled up outside a one-storey house, opposite a park.

"It looks nice," Jack said hopefully.

"Yeah, so did that one earlier," Sam replied dryly.  The house in question had looked nice from the outside but the interior was in such a dilapidated state they had stayed only five minutes before making their excuses and leaving.

The realtor met them at the front door; he was extremely enthusiastic, overly enthusiastic according to Jack.   Jack could never trust a person who could be so excited at 5 o'clock on a Friday afternoon.

"Samantha Carter?"

Sam nodded.

"You must be Mr Cater," the realtor said, indicating O'Neill.

"Whoa, no I'm Jack O'Neill.  A friend of Sam's," Jack said quickly, the real-estate agent, James looked slightly embarrassed.

"Sorry about that.  I think you'll really like this place."  O'Neill rolled his eyes as he spoke, they had heard that phrase so many times over the past week.

As soon as they entered the house they knew that it was perfect.  Sam was immediately drawn to the large fireplace in the living room.  She shared a quick look with O'Neill whose smile told her that he approved.

*~*

Sam grabbed the bottles of beer from the fridge with her newly reclaimed right arm and turned to take the bottles to where her friends were waiting.  She smiled at them, she was happy in her new home.  She had managed to sleep a whole night, for the first time in nearly two months, without being woken by a nightmare.  She knew the nightmares had not gone but the fact that they had decreased in frequency was good enough for her.

Sitting down and passing the beer around she grabbed another slice of pizza from the nearly empty box on the table.

"Appetite back, eh Carter?" O'Neill asked, a smile in his voice.

"Yes sir," Carter attempted to reply but her mouth full.

"I would like to propose a toast," General Hammond said, standing.

"To Major Carter, on her new house and her return to active duty," Hammond announced formally, the rest of the assembled group voicing their agreement.

After Daniel, Teal'c, Hammond, Janet and Cassandra had left, Sam took the opportunity to talk to O'Neill in private.

"Sir, I don't know what I would have done without you these past few weeks."

"It's nothing Carter."

"No Sir, it is something.  Helping me through the nightmares, the fear, finding this place.  It's a lot, to me at least."

"It means a lot that you can turn to me when you need help.  I meant what I said when I was on that stupid Za'tarc machine thing.  I do care about you," Jack added quietly.

"I know Sir, I care about you too," Sam added, in an equally hushed tone.

"I'd better go, early morning and all that."

"Yes Sir."

Jack took a deep breath before turning and leaving the house.  He walked slowly to his truck.  As he sat inside he looked up at Sam's house; he saw the lights being turned off as she headed to bed.  He had become accustomed to Sam staying in his house, he was used to comforting her after the nightmares that caused her to wake up screaming.

He realised he loved her, his 2IC, and he was pretty sure she loved him back but there was nothing either of them could do about it.  Not without dismantling SG-1 and that was something neither of them were prepared to do right now but maybe someday something would change.  He started the engine and with a final look drove home.

Sam locked the house up for the night, checking the locks three times before she was relaxed enough to go to bed.  The residual emotional effects of the attack were still present but slowly, with the support of her friends, she was working through them. 

As she laid in bed, she thought of her CO and the feelings she has for him.  However much she wanted something more than a working relationship and platonic friendship with him their were too many obstacles at this moment.  One day, she thought as she fell into a peaceful sleep, one day. 

*~*~*

**Did I waste my time in writing this or did it add to the story???  Review and let me know!**


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